Each year in April the GMA (Gospel Music Association) hosts the annual "Dove Awards Show."  Tonight marks the 39th Dove Awards and will be broadcast live on the Gospel Music Channel (189) at 8pm eastern. 

The Dove Award is given to artists of all musical genres within CCM that the GMA members through voting deem worthy to receive. The award carries no real industry weight; and is, for lack of better words, an imitation Grammy for CCM artists who are not good enough to compete in the secular pop music world, but want to feel for a moment like they had and are... pop stars. The Dove Award gives them the artificial sense of being "real artists" with all the trappings of winning a Grammy - without actually being good enough to win one. What should be somewhat of a concern to all of us as Christians, is that CCM artists are the rare part of the body of Christ that honors itself by giving awards to itself each year for serving the Lord. No artist in CCM, if truth be told, really likes The Dove's... but they do love the free "TV-air-time”, the after show parties, and the press that the broadcast of the Dove Awards affords them.

So considering this self-induced phenomenon, I had an interesting idea: what if pastors were honored by the same status that CCM artists are and the GMA created an award show especially for them each year? It would be called "The Episkopos Awards." Episkopos is the Greek word in 1 Timothy 3:1 for overseer—meaning to “look intently into the needs of another.”  This is the heart of biblical shepherding within pastoral ministry, but sadly, seldom ever done (cp, Heb. 13:17).

So here is a tongue and cheek approach to what the award categories on a GMA ballot might look like for the coveted "Episkopos."  As you're reading and enjoying this sarcastic-rich list, consider praying for all in the CCM industry to repent of such self-aggrandizement and thank the Lord that pastors haven’t sunk to this level… YET.

Announcing evangelicalism's latest and greatest award, "The Episkopos Awards" designed for the pastor in mind.

Here are your categories for voting (add your own as well):
Sermon of the year

Exposition of the year

Best exegesis of the year using only the subjunctive, aorist, pluperfect form of the verb

Best alliteration of the year

Best contextualized, culturally relevant, ecumenical, seeker-sensible, postmodern gospel presentation of the year

Best wooden pulpit, non-hydrolic, of the year

Best wooden pulpit, hydrolic, of the year

Best Plexiglas pulpit of the year

Best conference of the year not containing the words "camp" or "meeting"

Best emerging sermon of the year with vulgarity, scatological humor, and seedy illustrations

Best emerging/emergent sermon of the year that actually used the Bible during the sermon

Best Elder Board of the year

Best Elder Board of the year that doesn't shepherd the congregation, but meets regularly to discuss the needs of the church

Best hymn/chorus bulletin order selection that tied into the sermon of the year

Best oration of the year

Best prayer of the year impromptu

Best prayer of the year written

Best prayer of the year taken from but not credited to a Puritan

Best offering presentation of the year without using KFC buckets

Best Church Discipline of the year

Best Restoration of the year

Best Sunday School curriculum of the year using Beth Moore materials

Best rapture sermon of the year without referring to the Left Behind Series

Best teaching tape, CD, or MP3 of the year

Best short form sermon, seminar, or devotional of the year

Best announcements of the year presented by a non-staff member

Best altar call of the year without singing "Just As I Am" or repeating a praise chorus more than twice

Best use of secular music as worship music of the year

Best skit of the year

Best pastor's conference of the year

Best bulletin insert of the year not prepared by a multi-level marketing company

Best vocal performance when preaching on mic

Best vocal performance when not using a mic

Best vocal performance when using a headset

Best PowerPoint presentation of the year that you can actually read without turning off all the sanctuary lights

Best looking pastor's study of the year using real wood

Best sanctuary tech presentation of the year

And finally, best round of golf of the year not played on a Monday, without using a "foot-wedge," and having at least one non-Christian in the foursome (no gambling allowed)

Conclusion:
There you go people... what do you think? Do we need stars in the body of Christ, or do we need servants? Wouldn't it be wonderful to see biblically trained "musician-priests" or "musicianaries" serve the church in song, to lead God's people in praise and worship, to proclaim the gospel, and to encourage others in the body of Christ in their walk with the Lord through Psalms, Hymns and Spiritual Songs? To be trained as chief musicians in the craft of music and in the Word of God?

Thank the Lord for your pastor today beloved; and let them know what awaits the faithful under-shepherd of Christ is better than any award others may extend.  Of to hear one day "well-done thou good and faithful servant" from the King of kings and Lord of lords. That's all the "award" anyone of us should ever seek in this life; including those in Contemporary Christian Music as well.

For further consideration:
What would the Apostle Paul say about awards for serving the Lord? Read here.

Read the 107 THESES, and help us bring reformation to the Christian Music Industry (CCMI)