“They are hard to please and quick to complain.” This is what I was told about people who attend Bible conference centers and groups of Christians who frequent area restaurants. A director of a Bible conference ministry informed me that this was a common problem in his line of work. A manager of a similar ministry indicated that her experience in a secular conference center resulted in far less complaints. She said that the Christians were more difficult to please and had more complaints. Another friend who worked at an area restaurant, (though herself a Christian), indicates that Christian groups have the same reputation with the waitresses where she works. Do these reports bother you as much as they do me?
“Perhaps,” you say, “the problem is that non-Christians hold Christians to an unreasonably high standard.” In some cases, this is no doubt true. Yet those informing me of the problem have been Christians themselves. They have no particular axe to grind. They have simply observed a disturbing reality about the attitudes of their fellow-believers.
At the risk of offense (which is not my intention), there is another common factor among a large percentage of the disgruntled. They are elderly and often retired. I am not sure what to make of this, but I told my wife to take me to the back yard and shoot me if I ever become a grumpy old man who is never happy with anything. Old or young, are you cantankerous and irritable or gracious and grateful?
The main point we all need to get is that complaining is a sin. Yes, you read it correctly — sin. The scripture specifically says, “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14). Conversely, we are instructed to “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (I Thessalonians 5:18). Ungratefulness is a lead sin in the spiral away from God described in Romans 1:21-28.
As Christians, we have experienced such amazing grace from God that we should be overflowing with gratitude and humility. The culture tells us to demand our rights and expect the best for ourselves. Christ tells us to serve and bless others. We should be distinguished by a gracious disposition, not a grouchy and demanding one. How can we expect people to believe our message of hope and salvation when our lives do not reflect it?
We all have bad days when we are not the most cheerful persons. And, there are also proper ways to express disappointment with inadequate service. Yet we need to become more mindful of our witness for Christ if our attitudes are giving us a negative reputation.
If you are a critical, crabby, and demanding person, young or old, do your best not to let people think you are a Christian. Look to the words of Jesus who said, “For who is the greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves” (Luke 22:27).
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Being a believer but not having grown up in the Church, I look at Christians in a different way than those who have been long time believers. It has been my experience that Christians hold the non believer who works at the restaurant or store clerk to a higher standard than he will his fellow Christian.
From my experience, if life were a game of Monopoly, the Christian would get the card that says "Free Turn" and the non believer would get the one that says go back to Start. In other words, little or no grace from the Christian. Click here to reply to this post
Halfway home
Posted On: 02/11/08 09:36:08 AM
Age 39, AR
For me, I would say this: Young or old complaining is common. Grumpy people are a result of a unfulfilling life- young or old. A person that is in a constant state of unhappiness with moments of joy DOES NOT have a true relationship with Jesus Christ. Unhappiness comes from he past with no hope in the future. Jesus redeemed us from the past and gave us hope for the future. Complaining is only the exterior manifestation of Sin in the form of breaking Commandment #1. (If you need to look that up, Please contact Steve about how to be saved). It is true that all Christians will have bad days and bad moments and each time we should repent and ask Our Father for strength and wisdom in overcoming the world in each of our lives through the life, death, and resurrection of his son, Jesus Christ. Where do cranky old people come from, the lost world. Click here to reply to this post
The truth is...
Posted On: 02/08/08 10:08:02 PM
Age 64, OR
Grumpy people are inheritantly disappointed in life - period, and it doesn't matter if they are professed Christians or secularists. In reality, and the article touched on it, Christians (whether in groups or individual) are always under scrutiny - the proverbial microscope - by "fault finders" themselves. When we are born again into the Spirit of Christ we are to leave the old self behind and become new. That change is not immediate but by applying God's Word in our lives and that takes time. Maturity does not happen overnight or instantaneous but there are some who lead you to believe it is so. It starts with parents "train up your child in the way of the Lord and he will not depart from the way" (paraphrased)...the same holds true to adults as they evolve through transition to walk closer with Christ.
As a matter of fact the author himself comes across as being a bit "bitter" about Christians who are less than perfect...so be careful about "casting stones". Click here to reply to this post
What the World Sees.
Posted On: 02/09/08 08:30:14 AM
Age 45, AR
I have been born of the Spirit, (Saved) for 6 years and I will tell you what I saw before and after God's work in me. Years before salvation I used to be a waiter, and I did not to the best of knowledge single out religious people for scrutiny. I say religious people because many who profess to be servants of the Lord may not be. I used to hate to see the church people come, because they were cheap and complained alot. But I was not a child of God at the time. Now though my daughter who waits tables and is saved, talks of the "Christians" who make inappropriate comments to her. Those who tell dirty jokes, and have racist remarks. We are always under scrutiny by the world and are called to live blameless. We should weep at the the low view that the secular world has of Christianity, and because of that the low view they have of Christ. Click here to reply to this post
A sad truth!
Posted On: 02/15/08 04:09:04 PM
Age 40, CA
I've been saved for 7 years and am currently serving the Lord through church leadership and counseling. The first real lesson we "learn" as a Christian is that nobody's perfect. However, I've heard a few "Christians" use this statement to excuse inappropriate conduct that it even violates secular guidelines of morality and sensitivity toward others -- especially in public! From a theological perspective, secular morality is most often a pretext that often evolves into social masks, so I don't intend to imply anything positive about secular morality by using it in my comparison. However, I must provide an excellent "come-back" to the foolish statement, "Nobody's perfect...:"
Yes, nobody's perfect -- but being farthest from perfection is far worse than being closer to it. Click here to reply to this post
Grouchy Old Men
Posted On: 02/08/08 08:24:07 PM
Age 42, NM
My grandfather once asked me if I knew where grouchy old men came from. Then he told me they come from grouchy young men. So be happy and content. Work at being a joy to be around. Enjoy people. Please people.
My grandfather practiced that right up until the day he died. He laughed and joked and enjoyed life. He joke with his nurses, knowing the end was near. He knew his Lord was about to take him home. What did he have to worry about or complain about? (His questions not mine).
When "Christians" have not the joy of the Lord I wonder if the label is false. Click here to reply to this post
Thanks for the reminder
Posted On: 02/08/08 03:16:48 PM
Age 51, MN
Steve,
Unfortunately I have witnessed the same thing in folks that I know. Your article was a good reminder to me that I should be more thankful and less critical.
I have made more than my mistakes in dealing with fellow humans, and appreciate your corrective words.
Sincerely,
Ken Click here to reply to this post
Priority of Scripture
Posted On: 02/08/08 03:12:31 PM
Age 45, MN
QUOTE: "The main point we all need to get is that complaining is a sin. Yes, you read it correctly — sin. The scripture specifically says, “Do everything without complaining or arguing” (Philippians 2:14)."
THE Greek word goggusmos, translated as complaining here in the quoted Philippians 2:14 passage, means murmuring or secret debate. And dialogismos, translated here as arguing means deliberating with one's self or disputing. Thus we are to be united in service, serving the Lord without murmuring secretly, or disputing the purpose to which we have been called.
BUT it is not Philippians that determines what is and what is not sin. 1 John 3:4 states: "Everyone who practices sin also practices lawlessness; and sin is lawlessness." Therefore, transgression of the Law is sin, not transgression of Philippians. This is why Jesus said: "For truly I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or stroke shall pass from the Law until all is accomplished." (Mat. 5:18) And Paul said, "What shall we say then? Is the Law sin? May it never be! On the contrary, I would not have come to know sin except through the Law..." (Rom. 7:7) Only through knowing the Law of God, does one know what sin is.
PERHAPS it would be better to go to the source document that defines sin and see if complaining can be extracted from the commandments given by God. Here is a start, perhaps one can think of others: Not to wrong any one in speech (Lev. 25:17), Not to add to the commandments of the Torah (Deut. 13:1), Not to take away from the commandments of the Torah (Deut. 13:1), To love all human beings who are of the covenant (Lev. 19:18), Not to carry tales (Lev. 19:16), Not to cherish hatred in one's heart (Lev. 19:17), Not to bear a grudge (Lev. 19:18), To relieve a neighbor of his burden (Ex. 23:5), Not to refrain from maintaining a poor man and giving him what he needs (Deut. 15:7), To give charity according to one's means (Deut. 15:11), Not to wrong the stranger in speech (Ex. 22:20). Click here to reply to this post
Be the salt
Posted On: 02/08/08 10:35:13 AM
Age 52, IA
This article hits home after witnessing such behavior first hand for over 35 years of working with the public. I am sorry and ashamed to say that some of my worst customers were professing Christians. The most unfortunate result of their behavior was attempting to share the Gospel to my fellow employees. When those employees saw a consistently bad pattern of behavior in these "Christians," most wanted nothing to do with even listening to my testimony. Another issue regarding the same problem was with one particular "Christian" employer that I worked for. Always professing his Christianity, always playing the local Chrisitian radio station, never missing Church, but consistently lying to and financially cheating numerous employees, including me. Once again, witnessing was nearly impossible in that environment and why wouldn't it be?
We are supposed to be the salt of the earth, with people interested in our words and lives, based on our Christ like behavior. I am sorry to say that this has been the exception far more than the rule in my years as a Christian. Click here to reply to this post
are u a cantankerous Christian
Posted On: 02/08/08 09:07:46 AM
Age 57, MN
I may be weird, but such a CHRISTIAN exists?
SAY what, you sure, you are talking to Christians?
COME out of the WORLD then.
ITS sad, when the WORLD< and DALHI LAMA< look more like a Christian, than a SO CALLED CHRISTIAN.
PAUL said "examine yourself, to see IF you are in the faith.
Maybe, one big problem, that is happening today is, STAMPING people saved, who are not.
"IF" im in the MIDST of a person "CLAIMING to be saved, and they would act that way, "YOU can COUNT on it, I WILL LET them KNOW.
"BE imitators of CHRIST, NOT imposters!" Click here to reply to this post
Steve,
My observation over 83 years is that cranky old people were cranky young people. And happy old people were happy young people.
Happiness comes from knowing Jesus is mine and I belong to Jesus
Blessings Click here to reply to this post
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