Help, I am being misrepresented!

Seven time-tested principles

By Steve Cornell

If you plan to be a spiritual leader, expect to be misunderstood, misrepresented, maligned and slandered! Don’t welcome being mistreated this way. Don’t savor it with a martyrs’ complex. But it is naïve to think that you can be an effective leader without being the object of such mistreatment.

One of the hardest experiences of life and leadership is being misunderstood, misrepresented and slandered. This is especially hard when your circumstances are adversely affected because of the lies and evil actions of others.

Great sadness fills our hearts when those to whom we have faithfully ministered question our care and slander our character. More than a few leaders have thought about a change in life-direction when subjected to unjust scrutiny and attack. I learned this lesson in the earliest days of my training for ministry (more about this in a moment).

Throughout more than two decades of pastoral work, I have become convinced that this type of treatment is one of the prices of leadership—especially Christian leadership. Considering the treatment Jesus received, we shouldn’t be surprised. The NT book of Hebrews speaks of Jesus enduring hostile treatment by sinful people (Hebrews 12:3). This is mentioned for the purpose of encouraging Jesus’ followers not to grow weary and lose heart when treated this way. I learned very early that such treatment will be part of the life of a leader. More difficult, however, I have witnessed my wife being misunderstood and misrepresented. Even our children have been mistreated in this way. It is simply a price one pays for spiritual leadership—especially if you are a God-pleaser and not a men-pleaser.  

My earliest days of ministry preparation were interrupted with a situation where I experienced this treatment. A rather silly event occurred where I was misrepresented by a staff person at the training institute I attended. It was not a moral issue or anything that should have been cause for great concern but unfortunately, some of the primary leadership of the institution lacked maturity in handling people and I became a victim of their immaturity. I was treated in such a way that caused me to lose all respect for those in leadership and prompted a decision to leave the institute and pursue training elsewhere. Upon departure, I was maligned as one who had left the will of God and some well-intentioned people even counseled my wife-to-be to reconsider marrying someone like me. Gratefully (and, by God’s grace), we held our ground because we knew right from wrong. Not too long after this sad experience, the institution closed down.  

This early setback was a very hard trial for me. In a profoundly deep way, it forced me to clarify my calling to pursue spiritual leadership. More importantly, it became an essential preparation point for a life of leadership. Looking back, I realize today that this is part of the price of leadership. Yet my first experience of such treatment was particularly hard because it came from believers and those for whom I should have had the greatest respect. It seems easier when it comes from unbelievers. Yet whatever the source, I can rest in God’s faithfulness when others prove unreliable.

Please allow me to share with you a few lessons I have learned about how to respond to this kind of mistreatment.  

1.  Let God be your defender: During a very difficult time of testing in my earliest days of pastoral ministry, one of my trusted mentors gave me invaluable counsel: “Don’t react to man, respond to God.” When being attacked, maligned and misrepresented, it is tempting to “take matters into your own hands.” Sometimes I have been guilty of doing this and I have always regretted it. I have learned that God is a far better defender of my life and ministry than I am. The hard part is waiting for God’s timing when others seem to be “getting away” with their actions. Yet I have watched the ways of God on this matter and learned that he is able to bring low those whose hearts are exalted in arrogance. And when God intervenes, it is powerful.

2. Distinguish the pastoral from the personal: I have repeatedly learned that people will be angry toward me simply because they need a target for their frustrations. The reason I am sometimes the target is because I am (in their eyes) the pastor. Assuming that I have power and influence, they target me because of the office I hold. In our culture, people like to “go to the top” when they have a complaint. They could go one office higher to Jesus, the head of the Church, but more often they head for your office! If you were “Joe normal” in the Church, you wouldn’t be under nearly as much scrutiny. But, as a pastor, such treatment goes with the territory! If you can’t take the heat—get out of the kitchen! Don’t take everything personally or you’ll go crazy.

3.  Only engage in self-defense for the welfare of others: Sometimes (as in Paul’s case with the Corinthians and those misleading them) it is important to argue for your own integrity. It appears that Paul did this only when he knew the potential risk to the spiritual stability of those under his leadership. The Church at Corinth had been invaded by false teachers who tried to drive a wedge between Paul and the Corinthian Christians. They did this to win the loyalties of the Church to themselves. They sought to discredit Paul’s life and ministry to establish their own position over the Church. To protect the Church, Paul engaged these detractors with some fiery confrontation. He always expressed hesitation about engaging in self-defense but did not shrink from it when necessary for the good of others (Read II Corinthians with this in mind).  

4.   Follow the example of Jesus:  The example of Jesus outlined in I Peter 2:21-23 has guided me for many years when facing mistreatment. Read carefully: 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 22 “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” 23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”  

The tense of the original indicates that when Jesus endured this mistreatment, he “kept entrusting himself to him who judges justly.” This is an insight into how Jesus endured all the wrongful treatment during his trial and crucifixion. He was falsely accused, illegally tried, wrongfully beaten and killed. Instead of retaliating and uttering threats, he entrusted himself to the Righteous Judge of all the earth. I have tried to follow his example. Scripture reminds us that we have a High Priest who can sympathize with us in our suffering, He is merciful and faithful, even when others are not (see: Hebrews 2:17-18; 4:14-16). I have learned to go to the throne of grace to find grace and mercy to help in my time of need.  

Along these lines, Psalm 62:8 has been a lifeline. Here we are admonished to trust in God at all times and to “pour out our hearts before him.” When we do this, we find God to be a refuge for us, as the verse concludes.

5.   Stay the course! Keep doing the right thing!  I Peter 4:19 brings to light the final principle I have learned. “So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.” We cannot allow those who mistreat us to stop us from doing the right thing and ministering to others. Stay the course! Keep doing good! Part of Satan’s plan is to use others to be his accusers to discourage you from the good you are doing. We must resolve not to be consumed with the hatred others feel toward us. We must not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good (See: Romans 12:18-21). I have often instructed our congregation not to be so polarized over those who grow discontent that we fail to minister to those who humbly and gratefully receive ministry. This is a trap of the evil one! See it as it is! Refuse to let yourself be ensnared! “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers (Galatians 6:9-10). 

6. Seek wise counsel: We cannot handle trials alone. God desires to use others to encourage us when we are down. But we must seek the encouragement wisely. Be careful who you look to for support. It is not about finding those who will see things your way but finding those with the wisdom to see God’s perspective. Rest in the fact that the work belongs to God– not you! This will enable you to be more objective and more receptive to wise counsel—even if it involves admonishment for you. Keep the main ting in view—the glory of God!

7. Practice team leadership: I am convinced that the NT envisions plural leadership for the Church. Practicing this is not only for the good of God’s Church but also for the protection of those who lead. When attacked, my fellow elders will often invite me to step back and allow them to handle matters. They have the wisdom to see that people operate with the “go to the top” mentality. Because we function as a true plurality in our leadership, we watch out for one another. A self-serving man will seek his own welfare and not the good of others. Such a man is not worthy of eldership in the Church.

By refusing people the sinful (and often prideful) pleasure of attacking me as the senior pastor, the elders show a unified front which calls people to focus on God and His Word not on a man. This is not blind loyalty but an effort to wisely protect the fellowship and those who lead it. If God’s Word is not being followed, correction is needed no matter who is involved. The leaders insist that matters remain objectively focused on God’s Word not on personality issues.

I hope you find these principles helpful. If you have more to offer, I would love to hear from you.

For more on the biblical plan for local Church leadership: http://thinkpoint.wordpress.com/2007/04/11/church-leadership-an-overview/

Steve Cornell