Christians Need a Nose Job

What’s that smell?

Every time another scandal is exposed in Washington I ask myself that question.  I’m not talking about the politicians.  I think we all realize that there is no bottom to the cesspool into which degraded man can sink.  Washington, the apex of power in America, is nothing more than a hazardous-waste landfill.  Sadly, we in America, think we are going to change the smell of this nation by changing the party that dumps the waste into the tank.

As we have watched the media gobble up the Mark Foley story like maggots on dog-dung, I have once again been amazed by the reaction of our “conservative leaders”.  Ooops, I may have misspoke.  There are no conservative leaders, only conservative spokesmen.  The bilge belching from their mouths is nothing more than halitosis.  Unfortunately, we are getting used to the smell.

It reminds me of the story of an old man who went to the doctor because he was concerned with the amount of gas he had been expelling lately.

“The good thing, Doc,” the old man said, “is at least the odor isn’t embarrassing,” as a stream of air seeped out of him into the examination room.

“Oh, I see the problem,” the good doctor responded as he squinted. “You seem to have lost your sense of smell.”

Americans have lost our sense of smell.

Am I the only guy in America whose nose isn’t clogged?  Didn’t it bother anyone else that when Foley was exposed our “conservative leaders” responded the same way I did when I was a teenager? 

“Oh Yeah!  Well, so’s your man!”

I really don’t understand what has happened to conservative talkers.  It seems as if all of them have become shills for the Republican Party.  Their number one defense for Foley was not a defense for Foley, but rather a “you’re no better than us” approach.

Let me stop here a second.  In my commentary from last week, I called for a new political party that Christians could be part of.  I’m still waiting to hear from the leaders I referenced, but I want to be very clear on something.  There is a difference between Democrat policies and Republican policies.  I am convinced however, that those in power in the Republican Party will never live up to the value the party espouses.  But I am equally convinced that the Democrats will live up to their ungodly values.  I will be whole-heartedly voting against Democrats in this election.  I will not be voting for Republicans.  The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t.  Try as they might, the media cannot change my opinion of the two parties.  My sense of smell works fine.  I have been doing my best for years to alert Christians that the smell coming out of Washington was not a new perfume.  The odor was the smell of rot.  One party is dead, and the other is rolling around in the grass like a dog, covering itself with the scent permeating from the rotting corpse, longing to draw some of the hungry flies searching for a place to lay their eggs.

Back to Foley and his Republican apologists.  At least Foley had the decency to go away silently.  He left the gas-passing up to conservatives.

“Democrats are hypocrites.  What about Gerry Studds and Barney Frank?  Bill Clinton actually had sex with an intern.  Nancy Pelosi supports pedophilia.  The Democrats are worse.  There is a double standard.”  Yada, yada, yada. 

That is the “so’s your old man” defense.  As usual, the problem isn’t with the odor, the problem is with our nose.  Do you remember the day when the thought of a “gay congressman” would have made you cringe?  Now we are told that “gay Republicans” are just part of the new Republican fragrance. 

But Coach, you say, Foley and his co-horts are really nothing more than RINOs, and we have to purge the Party of them.  Once we do that, then we can really turn this nation around.”    Are they really RINOs?  If you would do some real soul searching I think you would have to come to the realization that conservative Christians’ noses are stopped up.  Christians are the ones they want to purge.  Ask Ken Blackwell in Ohio, Rick Santorum in Pennsylvania, and our old buddy Judge Roy Moore in Alabama.  Christians vote for the good of the nation.  Most Republicans vote for what is good for the Party.  Christianity is not good for the Party, but Christian values sure make Republicans smell better when we vote.

Christians are the real RINOs in the Republican Party.

Want proof?  Isn’t it amazing that many who defend Foley’s actions argue about the age of consent, as if having homosexual sex is okay if you are old enough?  No one is upset that he was a man, looking for sex with other men. That used to make us gag.  Today, we are told it has no smell.   We have a nostril problem in America.

I spent a lot of years in a locker room.  I hate to say it, but I loved the smell of that old place.  The pungent mix of sweat and analgesic permeated my clothes when I went home at night.

“Whew, you stink”, my wife would say as I gave her hug.  “You smell like a locker room. Go shower off before you come to the table”. 

Our conservative leadership is beginning to smell like Washington. 

When I was about fifteen I wandered into a rebellious stage.  That happens to all of us at one time or another.  But my ever-vigilant mother was alarmed when she began to notice that I was running with a new crowd. 

“Davey,” she said.  “I notice that you have developed a new group of friends and I’m not sure it is good.  You have to be careful because, like it or not, you are judged by those you hang around.  Let me give you a word of warning…when you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.”

A few weeks later, I had a few fleas.  Mom and Dad straightened me out, I return to my old crowd, and became more selective of those with whom I associated.

The things that our parents taught us, although trite and hackneyed, still apply today.  The old “conservative” ways still work.  Nothing worries a parent more than the influence that their children’s friends can have upon them.  You hope you have raised them well, and that they will represent the family name when they leave the house.  I was the fourth of five kids and Mom had seen the devastating effects of peers on her children.  That is why, whenever I left the house for an evening with my friends, Mom always laid down the same admonition. 

“David, you remember who you are!”

We would do well to heed to her advice. 

By Coach Dave Daubenmire Email: coach@ptsalt.com Click here for bio and archived articles