The Gay Divorcees Aren’t Fred and Ginger Anymore

J. Michael Sharman

In 1934, “The Gay Divorcee” was an Oscar-winning musical comedy starring Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

Nowadays, a gay divorce is a break-up of the civil-union or marriage between two homosexuals and there’s nothing gay (as in happy) about it.

 In a Legal Affairs article titled, My Gay Divorce[1], Laurie Essig, the lesbian author of the book, “Queer in Russia”[2], sighed, “I wish the story of my gay divorce were gayer”

She admits perhaps more than she intended about homosexual unions when she explained why she entered into a civil-union. “Our civil union was about saving thousands of dollars a year in health insurance bills: We could only qualify for the discounted ‘family rate’ if we were civil-unioned.” Ms. Essig related that the officiating person asked if they had any vows or poetry to read. “No,” she said. “We're just doing it to save money. Can you hurry up?”

She and her partner, Liza, were raising children together, and at their Vermont wedding, “Our oldest daughter, then 5, took her toy microphone in hand: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, come one, come all, to see the wedding of my mothers. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, two women are getting married even if that bad, horrible president guy doesn't want them to. For just one dollar, you can see this lesbian wedding. They may even kiss on the lips. Yuck!’”

 The reader of her article is not surprised when Ms. Essig laments that, “[T]he divorce itself, like the marriage, feels like a farce.”

The first Massachusetts homosexual couple to divorce might agree. The 33-year-old “religious educator” from Boston and 39-year-old Washington based professor were married on May 22^nd, 2004, five days after same-sex marriage was legalized in Massachusetts.

They filed for divorce less than seven months later. The only contentious part of their property settlement was a disagreement over who got custody of their three cats. They resolved that cat-fight (sorry) with a divorce agreement that, “in recognition of the emotional hardship of such relinquishment,” the winner of the custody battle agreed to provide the other “with periodic updates, photographs, and any health-related information pertaining” to the cats.[3]

Canada’s first homosexual divorce involved two women who were married one week after Canada legalized same-sex marriages, and broke up five days later.[4] They asked that their divorce papers identify them only as MM and JH because MM had “serious concerns about embarrassment and emotional distress as a result of the publication of her identity.” [5]

Spain’s first same-sex divorce wasn’t very gay, either, with the filing party complaining that, “he had dedicated his life to the relationship, giving up a modeling career and abandoning his dog hairdressing business to follow his partner who had found work in France.”  He wanted the marital residence granted to him but he was willing to give his ex visitation rights to the dogs. [6]

            In February, 2006, Daphne Ligthart and Liz King were one of Britain’s first homosexual couple’s to register under its new civil partnership law. They signed in to their honeymoon suite as Mrs. and Mrs. Ligthart-King.[7]

But Liz fell for Allison Steed, whom she had met at the wedding reception, and Allison broke up with the man she been living with for 16 years at a hamlet in Kent called (you couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried) Cuckold’s Corner.

Daphne had been wondering if something was going on, but, when she asked Liz about it, “She swore on our dogs’ lives that it was a friendship.” 

Daphne told the British paper, the Daily Mail: “I'm furious with Liz. I can’t believe she’d throw away an eight-year relationship for this little thrill.”

That’s how in May, 2006 Liz and Daphne became the first homosexual couple in Britain to divorce.

This November in Virginia an amendment is being proposed to our state constitution that: Only a union between one man and one woman may be a marriage valid in or recognized by this Commonwealth and its political subdivisions.

I think Fred and Ginger would be I favor of it. I know I am.

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By J. Michael Sharman Click here for bio and archived articles